Considerations Before Giving A Rebuke

Tonight during our family devotions we considered one of my favorite passages of scripture, Matthew 26:1 – 13.  I love the contrasts in this passage and it reveals much about why people do the things they do.  I have taught my family that people make decisions based on either love of God and people or love of money and power.

One of the things I took a considerable amount of time to talk about was Judas’ rebuke of Mary and things we might consider before rebuking a brother or sister in the Lord.

Here is my list:

Is the person an elder?  1 Timothy 5:1 is one of the clearest passages in the entire Bible.  It says, “Rebuke not an elder.”  This seems to not only include the brothers in the office of elder but also people that are older than me.  The heart of the matter is to honor the hoary head.  I may not take shots at men that are older than me on the internet or in my preaching.  I should keep my rebuke to myself regarding those older than me no matter how important I think my rebuke.

What is the motive of my rebuke?  (Jeremiah 17:9)  A great plague in the Church today is criticizing someone else’s ministry to exalt one’s own.  It is better to use the gifts God has given us and to ask for grace for service to the Lord than to point out the faults of others.  One of the almost daily reoccurring themes in my discussions with my children is for them not to think criticism is a ministry or spiritual gift.  Be the courageous person in the fight.   Give your all to Christ.  It is better to get knocked down while fighting than to be the coward who criticizes but never tries.  Be the fighter in the ring not the announcer or critic in the stands.

Related to question number 2 is question 3:  What about the beam in my own eye? (Matthew 7:1-5)  Removal of the beam from my own eye through prayer and fasting helps to give new perspective on the need to give my brother a rebuke.  It is usually at this point that my desire to give my brother a rebuke fades away.

Here are few other scriptures to consider before issuing a rebuke.  John 15 identifies the pruner of the branches of the vine as the Father.  Christ is the true vine.  I am a branch who can do nothing except I abide in Christ.  If I think I am the pruner of another branch I have greatly misidentified my role.  By the way the accuser of the brethren is Satan and Judas, the son of perdition.  I thought this was a good place to bring up our adversary’s role.  Christ has a commandment for the branches and it is that we love one another as He loved us.  We lay down our life for each other.  We do not exalt ourselves at someone else’s expense.  Matthew 13 includes the parable of the sower.  Before I rebuke, have I done any sowing today?

If a rebuke is still in order at this point then careful attention to the process outlined in Matthew 18 is extremely important.  Public rebuke in front of the Church is several steps into the process.  It is better to gain your brother in private than to gain some momentary exaltation at your brother’s expense.  The internet is as far as the east is from the west from Matthew 18.

As I close, I think it is wise to consider that Mary’s act of worship and exaltation of Christ will be remembered wherever the Gospel is preached.  Judas’ rebuke of Mary’s worship just showed the darkness of his heart.  He goes immediately from here to seeking an opportunity to betray his Lord.

Just as a bonus point to this passage:  have you ever thought that Mary’s act of worship here was also part of the Father’s plan to sustain His Son through the crucifixion?  From the garden to His death on the cross, the one constant would have been the sweet smell of this precious ointment.  It would have called to Christ’s memory in the midst of the most intense sufferring, the love and devotion of one of His dear children.  It would have reminded Him of one of the people for which He needed to suffer and die.

 

 

 

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