Ephesians 5:25-33 gives instruction for how a man should love his wife. It reads,
Ephesians 5:25-33
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Verse 25 begins this section of scripture by teaching that this love is sacrificial. In fact, to love as Christ loved the Church means giving one’s very life for the benefit of his wife. It is to lay down every claim to be first and instead make yourself last. This love is also forgiving. For a man to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, he is the initiator of forgiveness in his house.
Verses 26 and 27 teach that a man is responsible for making sure that his wife is cleansed by the word of God. A husband is an integral part of the sanctification of his wife. During the week, he reads and teaches the word of God in his house and on Sunday he takes his wife to corporate worship to hear the word of God preached. A man loves his wife by helping her to work out the spots and wrinkles through the power of the word of God.
Verses 28 through 33 teach that a man will love his wife by nourishing and cherishing her like he does his own body. These verses are not teaching that a man needs to fall more in love with himself in order to love his wife. They are saying it is a given that a man loves himself. Men love their wives and this love is real to their wives when men nourish their wives physically and spiritually before themselves. A man loves his wife when he concerns himself with meeting the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of his wife. A man loves his wife by cherishing her. To cherish her means to make her feel special. It is to honor her above all others. It is to talk of her beauty.
When a man truly loves his wife, there is a oneness that is supernatural. Although the world cannot fully understand this mystery, a man’s love for his wife is a beautiful witness that God Himself is present in a home working a daily miracle of grace.